A Fictional Argument
and Equal Protection Under the Law
In an unrelated event, we can discern several facts and can propose arguments for your consideration. It is a fact that the 4-game suspension of Bryant McKinnie resulted in the Vikings going 1-3 during that span. The argument that can be made in regard to this particular suspension is that during the loss of one of our best offensive lineman, we had to alter our game plans (changing protection schemes) to account for this loss, which may have changed the outcomes of these games. It certainly didn't help T-Jack! We really didn't have a problem with it ... because ... of course ... someone acted very foolishly.
Coincidently, that was an impressive list of defensive ends that we were made to face without McKinnie during those four games.
It was also clearly understood that both Kevin and Pat were acutely aware of Ray Edwards 4-game suspension at the end of our 2007 campaign, so ending an impressive winning streak, for using a league banned substance (As we were led to believe - steroids) that was either a small to a great part in sinking the Viking ship on our 2007 season. Ray got caught cheating and the Viking Nation was made to pay for his folly. This was certainly, at the very least, a significant red flag for both Kevin and Pat that if they were cheating ... they better get their act together. In any case, neither one of these individuals would be stupid enough to get caught testing positive for steroids ... that is, of course ... unless they were certain they could get away with it.
It now becomes quite clear what the loss of both Kevin and Pat means to the Vikings 2008 season.
This now raises a question in my mind ... why would both Pat and Kevin get caught for using steroids. Could it be that there was some sort of system available to athletes that would somehow divert the testing process from indicating a positive test result and were both Kevin and Pat aware of such a diverting system. Again ... this is a purely fictional ponderment.
As we are all aware, science is dynamic, or said another way ... things are changing at an alarming rate. Could it be that there is now a new test procedure, available to the league, that can now detect the presence of steroids, that in the past would be somehow not be detected. Again ... this is fictional bit of wonderment ... but the possibility exists. If this is a new testing procedure to catch players in the act of cheating ... we should all be collectively fine with this new procedure that catches cheaters ... but only if the new test was simultaneously applied uniformly throughout the league. Since this is all relatively new ... where the news reports are now starting to hit the streets ... it will be quite interesting to see and chart which teams and which players have become affected by this event.
Now for a bit of statistical analysis, which is cause for raising "the fictional red flag". An argument could be made that both Kevin and Pat Williams combined represent two of the highest rated players, not only on our defense, but on our team, where without them, our defense becomes a mere shell of former self. How is it that they both may have tested positive at the same time. An argument could then ensue that both Kevin and Pat are quite close and if there was a cheating advantage ... then maybe they'd both taken the same path together.
Stupid is ... as Stupid Does! I guess!
What is quite impossible, is that this unique information, that both Kevin and Pat apparently shared, was known only to these two athletes ... as it can be argued that although they are great athletes ... they are neither clairvoyant, nor are they Rhodes Scholars (Hello! Rhodes Scholar's don't need to cheat). In other words, it is highly likely that this information, that both Kevin and Pat shared, has proliferated throughout the league. Now the argument becomes quite complex and quite simple at the same time. You see, although it is possible for this alleged positive test to hit both Kevin and Pat simultaneously, it is statistically unlikely (very highly unlikely) that a positive test would hit two of our greatest players, simultaneously, without the passing of information between them. The statistical argument then ensues that it is virtually impossible that this same information did not proliferate throughout the league ... as there is an insurmountable driving force at play ... the effects of an enormous amounts of money. The counter argument to "the-information-money" argument, where the information did not proliferate throughout the league, would be somewhat analogous to stating that no one could get a drink during prohibition because alcohol, and its distribution, was illegal.
It is for these reasons, that statistically speaking, this list of athletes that should now test positive, to a new testing procedure, should indicate something significant. In other words, with Kevin and Pat's names, there should be an impressive list of names on that list. This is not to say that all athletes cheat ... it's only a reflection of the effect of information as it pertains to a random testing event and its result. In other words ... science is a very wonderful thing.
Information, like science, is also dynamic ... in that if a new testing procedure was applied by the league ... causing a new positive test result ... it will most certainly proliferate throughout the league very quickly ... that what used to work ... no longer works. Our news engine would make this possibility a certainty. Which means, if you weren't caught in this sweep ... and you were cheating ... you'd better take immediate corrective action.
Now as for the charting of players and teams that were affected by this event. If it now can be somehow discerned that this new testing event was not uniformly applied to all 32 franchises simultaneously ... where similar statistical results would be indicated for all 32 teams ... then it would be quite apparent that an argument could ensue that some franchises benefited to the detriment of other franchises ... causing irreparable harm to those franchises. Said another way ... the Vikings tested positive this week ... other elitist unnamed type franchises we'll test some time later ... when these players can skirt this issue for their benefit.
Far be it from me ... to be able to figure out such an unlikely fictional event. Hey ... we're just stupid fans.
What is clear is that 1 or 2 unplanned losses would be enough to sink our 2008 season. Let me see ... who would we be made to face without Kevin and Pat.
Once again, this is only a fictional wonderment ... because if it were true ... this thing wouldn't be a Kevin and Pat versus the commissioner event ... it would be a Zig master, along with other league owners vs. commissioner event. Why ... because season tickets, NFL Ticket, stadiums, and other nice stuff would wane in the balance. It's always important to lead such exercises rather than it get real messy.
Stupid is ... as stupid does! I guess! ... but this time it just may be a poorly executed plan that weighs in the balance.
One last thought ... once again, if it were true ... maybe it might be better to just let that Viking ship sail ... as there maybe a rather large pot of gold at the end of that rainbow.
The Viking Ghost Writer